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Hello, Uncle Lian!

I'm really confused, ask for help.

I'm a medical student male who living in a 4.5-tier small town and graduated in 2020. I have always been a person who does not know what he wants. I have always been a person who does not know what he wants, choose to study medicine is when I think the doctor income is considerable, social status is not low. During my undergraduate years, I was like a headless fly with no plan for the future. It wasn't until my senior year when I took a course on Obstetrics and Gynecology and did my internship in an obstetrics and gynecology department that I realized the magic and greatness of life and felt that I had found what I wanted to do. After graduating from my undergraduate program, I planned to go to graduate school to pursue the direction of obstetrics and gynecology, and after communicating with my family, they refused to agree.


The reasons for this are as follows.


1. the city where I live is conservative in thinking, and even a highly educated woman like my mother cannot accept a male obstetrician/gynecologist.


2. My mother called him a "famous old rascal" and thought I would be called the same in a few years.


3. my parents have bought a house for me and want me to stay with them in the future.


4. my father supported me to do this section, while implicitly expressing that if I choose his department of study future medical road will be smoother (my father is the same doctor and the head of the department of the city's tertiary hospital).


So two years in a row to enroll in my father's department, but I really can not raise interest, no motivation to review (also have their own self-discipline is not strong reason), so unfortunately failed to list or even failed to enter the retest.


Watching around the classmates and friends each have a small success, but I do not even know what I am going to do, 25 years old is still eating at home with home.


A few days ago, I discussed with my family that I wanted to enroll in a residency program in obstetrics and gynecology, but I was still opposed.


Uncle Lian, what should I do...


Reply

There are various prejudices in the crowd, after all, rationality is only a part of people, emotions, habits, traditions, with many irrational components, are also swaying people's lives, ignoring the power of this part of the factors, but also let people touch the nose, half the effort.


There are prejudices that are harmful, less harmful and harmless. Fighting prejudice is fighting against the crowd, which requires great courage, ability and skill, and sometimes a lifetime of effort may not see the results.


If prejudice is so harmful that it impedes social progress, it is worth fighting. For example, if prejudice prevents women from getting access to obstetricians and gynecologists and puts women and babies at risk, then it must be fought and definitely changed.


The prejudice in your small town is to deny male OB/GYNs, which hurts male OB/GYNs, but on the whole, the prejudice is small, because with female OB/GYNs, there is no increased risk to the mother and baby, and the result of fighting this prejudice is that you become a wasted OB/GYN, and at the same time, you are considered a "hooligan" in your small town, and it is very difficult to find a girlfriend, and there is a lot of trouble for your children to grow up.


To put it another way, is this prejudice justified? Yes, small cities still belong to the acquaintance society, maternity and obstetricians either know each other or turn a corner and do not want their bodies to be touched by male obstetricians and gynecologists, later embarrassment, you can say it is backward, but also can be said that it is human nature. Further, even if there is somewhere maternity if not accept any obstetrician and gynecologist, to change this great harm, the first step to change, is to introduce female obstetrician and gynecologist to make it easier for people to accept.


If you only want to be an OB/GYN, I suggest you practice in places that do not exclude male OB/GYNs. If you want to stay local as a doctor, I suggest you don't become an OB/GYN, a doctor in any specialty that is witnessing the wonder and greatness of life. Not any prejudice is worth fighting. Most prejudices, like whether bean flowers are salty or sweet, are just subjective preferences, deep-rooted and difficult to change, but not harmful, accept them and go with them, fighting them is a waste of life.


Have fun.


Lian Yue