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Dear Uncle Lian.


Hello! I am new to your readers and have gotten into the habit of reading your articles every day, your articles are always like a wise and gentle guide, thank you for bringing me some inspiration, I recently had a disagreement with my parents because of the planning of my family and would like to ask you for advice.


I am the eldest daughter of my family, and I am now working in a provincial capital city after graduating from college, so I don't need to worry about my parents anymore. There are many families around the house are starting to build two-story small buildings, although the house now has twenty years, but not very old, and five years ago built two new small rooms respectively to live in our four children. My parents have a plan to build a new house when their current house is not so good and they have some savings in their hands.


But I think there is something wrong, the old home location is remote, traffic inconvenience, and the possibility of future demolition; four children go to school after the home time is very little, the father is always away from home, the old home house is actually not very good; 300,000 used to build a house will not be like buying a house can be replaced appreciation, and will only become increasingly worthless. It is not cost-effective to build a house in the hometown, and it feels like the 300,000 yuan that my parents have worked so hard to save is just like a waste of money. So it is proposed that they use the same money in our local urban area to pay a down payment on a house, the monthly payment can also be fully affordable, although the level of development of urban areas is only China's fourth and fifth-tier cities, but living and medical conditions will be better, the next one to two years our city will also be connected to high-speed rail, traffic will be more convenient, housing prices are also relatively more secure. And buy now after the two brothers get married and then replace it will be more confident. After the mother and brother can live in the city, you can make it more convenient for the two brothers to go to junior high and high school, the mother can also find a relatively well-paying job in the city.


My mother and father have never planned for the future, always taking one step at a time, and my father only started struggling to support his family after he had two brothers. This time back home and mother communication, they mean that the old home is the root, how must also have a house, so that in the future are married home to have a place to live. But I really can not agree, I also told my mother my opinion, but I can feel my parents have a kind of old home house must be built to do.


Although as a daughter I do not have so much say, but I still hope that the family can develop a little better, parents can work less, after all, my thoughts also have limitations, so I turn to you, I hope you can give us a suggestion, thank you.


Reply


This is a good concern for you, not a blind concern, but a real concern. I support your idea that you are a child with real talent. From this point of view, your parents' education is also successful.


I quite admire your parents, in a way, they are now probably the type of parents China needs most, working hard, living healthy, having more children, and being responsible for them. A harsher person might pick on them for being patriarchal. But, as usual, they raise their daughters to be college students and add to the struggle themselves after their sons are born. Sons are important, but they don't treat their daughters poorly either, and that's nothing to blame. In family life, it does not matter what the path taken is, as long as the result is good and increases the happiness of each person. The improvement of life and the attainment of happiness is not a matter of writing a thesis that must use logic and rational language, as long as the other person understands and is willing to change.


The asset allocation plan you designed for your parents is much better than their original plan, in terms of preservation of value, convenience of life and job opportunities, all are perfect. Unfortunately, they can't understand any of this. What is the language they can most easily understand? It's all for the sake of their son, struggling, saving money, building a house, all for the sake of their son. Tell them that in a few years, when the brother grows up, the family does not have a house in the city, the girl does not look at it, and getting a wife is a big problem. Anyway, there is already a house in the countryside, the roots are still there, now buy a house in the city before it is too late, a move that is the envy of the village, the second is to let the brother as soon as possible to familiarize himself with the city life, the future and the city girl to have a common language. It is to marry the village girls, they also prefer to marry the city has a house guy. These reasons are not lofty, but they are very legitimate, your parents understand, listen to it.


You are the first college student in the family, intellectually and insightfully, have the responsibility to carry the whole family. The progression of the family in terms of finances and well-being is often an improvement in perception, with greater output and better results for the same work. The main means of fulfilling this responsibility is to find a language that your parents understand, and pass on your solutions and ideas to them, without lecturing them or confronting them. "The vanity and resentment of both generations is hurtful and proves the failure of education and yourself, to find their real concerns, go along with them, have fun chatting and lead them to a better life.


Have fun.


Lian Yue