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Hello Uncle Lian!


I am a sophomore in college, recently I do not know what I am going through, emotions have been very low, in the eyes of others I am the child who understands, excellent grades, and my parents are proud of me for this, but they do not know the troubles behind me, I also rarely talk to my parents, afraid they worry for me.


High school, I do not know how many times I collapsed, except my family knows that I can not resist stress, others do not know, high school is a sports student up, when the training results have been bad, close to a month before the examination is also very poor results, has not been able to raise the results, their own training has not been lazy, see other students rest there, they are still there to continue to practice, afraid that they are worse than others, collapsed I do not know how many times, at that time, if not in my sister's encouragement, may not be able to read a bachelor's degree, and then a few days before the physical examination, the results suddenly came up, the joy at that time is no one can understand.


Now that I'm in college and lost, I'm worried about the future, I took the National Inspirational Scholarship in my class last semester, and my parents are proud of me. I know the harm of smoking, and I do not want to move it, he numbed my nerves, I can still relax, maybe a look, a word may make me very annoyed, maybe I count too much, can not let go of some things, resulting in the current I will collapse when things, small measure, I really do not know what to do even uncle, I want to study, afraid that the current state is difficult to support the examination, I do not know which day will collapse. Now I suspect that I have anxiety disorder, I really do not know how to do, I also want to be happy, but every day is the face, no happy things, now do what can not raise interest, just when I write to you now, roommate to get express, he gave me a roommate next to say, express help him to take over, I came to the sentence, also help me to take over, he said he could not take, express too much, on such a small thing It can also make me unhappy.


They say that men should be generous, but I also want to, why do I have to do this, Uncle Lien, now I am really confused and distressed, I feel that everything is against me, really want to reconcile with the world. Uncle Lien, how to break away? How to not be calculating? Why is generosity not up? As a sports student, why is the pattern so small? Now I really do not know how to do, looking forward to your letter.


Reply


I reckon you are not addicted to smoking now, stop it quickly. Learning to smoke is the stupidest thing in the world, once learned, in addition to constantly harm their own bodies, but also very difficult to quit. Want to quit and can not quit, that state, will make you have deep doubts about their own willpower, low self-esteem, which in turn leads to easy to give up. Uncle Lian in adolescence, due to rebellion, curiosity, ignorance, had the misfortune to learn to smoke, from wanting to quit to completely quit, back and forth, took several years, head and tail smoking age of 10 years, nearly half of the time in quitting. There are many big things to do in life, so don't dig yourself an extra big hole like quitting smoking.


The human emotion is like a pendulum, sometimes it will always swing to the low pole. Don't think it's abnormal and panic when low moods occur. You are a sports student, have a lot of experience in sports, know the pole of sports, when it appears, it seems that a second can not hold on, but survive those few minutes, sports will enter a wonderful enjoyment stage, a constant flow of power out. If a person does not know the existence of the pole and has not overcome it, his movement will always end in pain, and if he does not experience pleasure, he will be afraid of the pole and movement. After the low, the person's emotions return to calm and the pendulum swings toward pleasure. Knowing this evolutionary trend, you can even hedge your bets with the low against the blind optimism that paralyzes a person in pleasure and makes him more balanced. In adolescence, there are many ideas, the power is still small, the emotional ups and downs, master some ways to cope with the low period, to help you grow.


Don't do the wrong things during the down period, or you will prolong the down period or even keep yourself permanently stuck in it. For example, you learn to smoke. Some people also drink, gamble, get into trouble, and fight. Some people's lives are ruined by this impulsive moment.


Confucius extinguished food in Chen, in this low point of life, said a very interesting phrase: the gentleman solid poor. The little man poor, S abusive carry on. The poorer the gentleman is, the more he can keep the right path, the little man in the poor world, there will be no bottom line to mess up. The poor state, not only refers to the lack of food and goods, but also refers to all the adversity, the realm of struggle and failure, is the extreme point in the movement, is the darkness before the dawn, it is the state of struggle and growth often appear. The state of poverty is inevitably accompanied by depression in the psychological state. How to deal with this downturn, divided into the high and low, big and small, poor and reach.


In the low period, things are not going well, always feel that the world and others against you. Just like your roommate not to help you get the delivery, it is his right, right? He may not really be able to take that much, so why are you so unhappy about a normal thing? Because you need special affirmation and support at this time, there is a kindness straw can save you. Knowing this, you can do the opposite, begging, always easy to get, be rejected, at this time to give people, you take the initiative to get the courier, ask your roommate if you need help to take, you will get a smile, thanks, be accepted, a small positive interaction will change the emotional direction.


Slowly accumulate these small techniques, see more and more positive paths during the downturn, you may go running, take a walk, look at the scenery, clean up your room, go reading aloud, recite your favorite article in your mind, take the initiative to help others, do everything right, so that you will not be afraid of the downturn, and after some years of training, you will also be able to control your emotions mainly in a calm state and get the ability and wisdom of meditation.


Have fun.


Lian Yue