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Good evening, Uncle Lian.

I'm sorry to bother you so late. I thought I would try to solve the problem of this letter by myself, but after almost a year I still don't know how to face this cruel fact, so I have to ask the knowledgeable and experienced Uncle Lian for advice.

My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, unfortunately, I thought this phrase would only appear in movies, but I never thought it would appear in my life. When the diagnosis was made, it was discovered a few years late and lost the chance of surgery, and several doctors gave the same answer, but after a few tosses and turns of testing pathology and genetic testing, finally there is a program of targeted drugs suitable for treatment, and from June 2020 began this lifelong treatment program, to the current regular review, regular injections to the hospital to take drugs, the cycle is 21 days to go once, the current situation is more stable, but people The rash caused by the medication also affects my mother's mood. But the good thing is that I bought medical insurance for my parents before, so that medical expenses can be reimbursed, every time you go to the hospital to spend at least 4,000, good medical insurance, our family will not be broken (parents are farmers, I am 95 years after just graduated two years).

Now the problem is, before we talk to the mother is the body inside the cyst, because it is not serious, so take medicine and injections on the good, do not need to do surgery, the mother is not much culture, plus there are relatives just next to the hospital, every time we go to the hospital to make a shot in the hospital to go to live with relatives, so will not be affected by the disease, she also can not read, is completely do not know what their condition, because the condition is also stable The doctor told her that the doctor said to take medicine to see, regular checkups, if you eat until the cyst inside disappears, she believes in this statement. But as she has been going to the hospital every three weeks for almost a year now, and has had three or four CT reviews, and still has to go all the time, she has become suspicious, and keeps asking how it is, and how she still has to go after so many times. I was torn, wondering if I should keep making excuses to lie to her, or if I could tell her to treat this with the attitude of a chronic illness, how to tell her, how to convince her that she will get better and have the patience to go to the hospital on time for a review? Mom is not a cultured and smart person, but also a person who will think a lot of things, days long I am afraid she will easily give up, or more negative, please Uncle Lian give me a suggestion, I really think out of my head.

I always used to think how much money you want to earn, want to rise to what position, want to live what kind of good life, and then ah, think health and peace is good, reunion days are reunited, it is very happy ah. If it is too difficult to be happy and rich, then wish Uncle Lian and friends of the public peace and health.

A powerless daughter

Reply

A powerless daughter:

You are a person of great ability, the perfect child for your parents. Unbelievable, so young, but with the foresight to plan ahead and the determination to stand alone.

There are some conditions that we choose not to tell our loved ones about, and that has to meet two conditions at the same time: one is that the disease can be cured without his knowledge; the second is that he himself is psychologically fragile and knowingly suspicious and fearful, which is not conducive to treatment.

Your mother needs lifelong treatment, the first one does not meet. Still have to tell her current condition and treatment options, she no longer blindly guess blindly instead to reduce the psychological burden, otherwise, ask more, always get perfunctory, and always to the hospital, she will reverse to come up with their own answer: I must be incurable. After that to let her relax and cooperate with the treatment, it is much more difficult. That is to say, you hide it from her instead of making her feel that the condition is more serious.

When she first finds out, she will inevitably be low and sad. Anyone who knows they have to undergo a long treatment is sad at first. But people have the ability to adapt. Give her the right to grieve, and after a while, she will stabilize and accept the new life pattern, i.e., regular checkups and treatments. Familiar with this rhythm, she can also better organize her life, which is also conducive to recovery. Besides, your mother, like you, is not an ordinary person, and ordinary people can't raise a child as well as you. She can get through it, believe her.

Sickness, old age and death are the great challenges of life. After a major illness one knows better that health is the greatest asset one can have. Staying healthy and not letting your family worry should be realized early on, it is a reflection of responsibility and something that is not easy to do. Go to bed early, get up early, control your weight, balance your nutrition, exercise regularly, quit smoking and drink less, these are things you can be disciplined and do well, the will you get from them is also beneficial to you in pursuing other goals in life, positions money and such, they are also important energy.

Keeping healthy while you take care of your mom is also a big task. Don't feel guilty that "I'm thinking about my health when mom is sick", because she is sick and needs you to be well.

Hugs to you.

Lian Yue